The Men in our lives
In fortunate times like ours, we find many topics on feminism and different constructs on it. Like many authors, i too have written on this topic. And no matter how much we write and act on equality for women, the point of equilibrium is still far in the future. However, as we approach the International Men's day, it got me thinking how little we have written about men. Maybe they do not care to emote or they do not give two cents for this recognition. It could also be from a place of being the Mother of a boy, and the responsibility to raise him into a fine gentleman. A responsibility that is precious to me.
To delve into this topic, I would enunciate the role of Men in our lives from the major relationships that we share with them. This I would do in a chronological order they came in my life. And like I said, the men do not care in public of whom I spoke about first or last but for me there is no first or last. They all have different roles and different feelings of love for them.
My Father is the man, who had the most impact on me till now. He was my first exposure to Men and inspite of his serious, less talking, more focus on studies, sports, general knowledge, cocurricular, etc. etc. He taught me one of the most important life lesson, which is to be bold, confident and a good human ( i got there or not could still be debatable). Fortunately for me, gender was never a reason for staying back or to not be able to do something. This factor inherently built a strong foundation, which I have found other women to also to echo with me. My father did not raise me as a Princess, which made me jealous of some girls during my teenage years. But then I was never a Damsel in Distress princess, he raised me to be a fierce warrior women, fully capable to take on the world. And that has been the most important building block in my life.
My brother, although younger is my companion since his first day on Earth ( he probably inhabited some other solar system before this I think). Like a typical brother-sister duo, we had our curve of disdain, plaything, love, hate, friendship and finally love. Which I think we have been able to maintain since we discovered that feeling. A brother essentially opens you up to a world of sports, sports and some more sports. It's ridiculous how many sports I have watched on TV and how many times we tried slam dunk, not just the basketball ones but the WWE ones too. They open up your perspective to rough and rugged things early in your life, which later do not come as a shock to you. If I got hit by a stray ball, I am likely to hurl it back to that person with the intent of tit for tat. A life skill which we adopted very early in our lives. There is also a sense of protectiveness which is difficult to put in words. It started like I can hit and scratch you all I want at home, but anyone else dare not lay a finger on the other, or I will scratch your eyeballs out. The silent conversations we have using just our eyes and eyebrows are the most effective and soothing conversations. That security and understanding is not found anywhere else.
My husband, the romantic love in my life. I think this sort of love is probably the most written and read about. In my head I have written a lot about it and have shared it with him. However there is one aspect, that I want to share here. Your husband is going to be your most constant companion in your adult life and maybe that's why I took my own sweet time till I found that man. He is that person who will affect your mental and emotional state, the most. He will also determine the values that would be passed to your children. So I can safely say, that I got lucky. And that's not all. When you have been raised to be an Alpha, to find another Alpha who is your cheerleader in life is a blessing. So my father raised me strong and confident, my brother has been my longest cheerleader and my husband is keeping that status quo. What could be more empowering than that from the men in our lives?!
My son, the newest addition to my world of men. The above three relationships continue to give me love and support. This new role is more with my little man is of giving. My personal son-shine, lights me up with his smile, even before the sun rises in the east. As a Mother, you find places in your heart that you never knew existed and he has shown me that. For him, I wish that he is raised to be a man with qualities from all my favorite men and much more.
Along with these men, I have many other remarkable men in my life who continue to inspire and motivate. My father-in-law, friends and my cousins all of whom are solid wonderful men. It is a blessing to know the kind of different types of love and affection from the men in my life. May there be many more. May we know them, may we raise them and may we celebrate them!
