Where are we, this Women’s Day?!
It is that day of the year when our phones and feeds are incessantly flooded with Women’s Day messages. A day to celebrate women of the world. Another of those string of messages where in, they say women are beautiful, they are kind, they are love, they are selfless and caring. There is always a barge of adjectives which are ready to describe a woman.
So thus, the reflective process begins. The nicely wrapped words in cursive and beautiful pink backgrounds, laden with flowers are meant to compliment the women of the world. They are always defined in gentle and soft terms. Very rarely have I seen, may you be fierce, may you be strong, may you be bold. These are words, women often speak to each other in confidence. Very rarely, as a society we tell women to be these qualities. The irony is that we worship her fierceness as Durga but, when it comes to social expectations, we want her to behave like Sati Savitri.
The situations have improved. Today women are going out in the world and making their mark. But are we really bereft of the expectations? Even today, the way in which expectations are doled out on women, to make a dutiful daughter and daughter-in-law, devoted wife, selfless mother and a respectable woman are plenty to find. There are always guidelines to tell women as to how women must be. How we must sit…must eat…look…what to wear….literally every day to day activity. As if these weren’t enough, these are fed into our sub-conscious through advertisements and conversations. And most evolved women, fight it on an everyday basis to break these stereotypes. It is still a battle we rage with ourselves. The fear is that we hope that these are not passed on to the next generation unconsciously as some of these things are so deeply ingrained, that we do them as part of our nature.
What we need is, not to celebrate women as ‘Multitaskers’ and ‘Superwoman’. What it leads to is more perfectionistic expectations not only on the outside but within themselves . It almost feels like the society is compelled to define women in adjectives for the fear of letting her fierceness out. It seems like deep down they have a fear, that women if not caged by words, could not be entrusted to keep harmony in the society.
At the end of the day, what women need are to be themselves in every shape and form. Not just identified by her roles. Not ticked against a checklist of societal attributes. Just themselves!
What G.D Anderson says fits quite well here, ‘Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.’
